I like my sex mixed with concussions.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
