just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
