he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize