I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
