Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
