She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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