Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize