Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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