I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
