So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just google imaged poop.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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