he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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