she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
This girl is more easily done than said...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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