Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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