Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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