glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize