he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I think my vagina is haunted
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
