I want to stick my p in your. b.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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