I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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