please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
