Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
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