He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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