Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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