eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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