A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize