just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
