your room smells of hookers.
And success
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
