i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
