i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he was CRYING into my vagina
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
