We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
