I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
