in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
