SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I forget how to act sober
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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