White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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