I wish life had little blips of pornography
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
