I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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