it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize