just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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