im about as happy as oj after his trial
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
