He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
