Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
