i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
