East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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