I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
