I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
