the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
