I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
