I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
