why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
