is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
