Please, let me fuck your mom
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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