it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
this will be a night to untag.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
