textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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