oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
