Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
They took my balls.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize