My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize