i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
