We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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