i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
soo... how was my night?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
