I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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