Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
