I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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