Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
