OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
