Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The power of my boobs compel you
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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