He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
