why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
