Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
