if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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